I can feel the germs in the back of my throat. Sometimes they tickle as they move in and make me cough. Sometimes they are hot and red and make it feel as though I’m swallowing a ping-pong ball. Sometimes they make my tongue feel fuzzy or leave a stale flavor at the edge of my mouth. But the fact that these things are happening only sometimes means that sometimes I think my immune system is winning. This gives me hope.
My eyelids are heavy as lead weights but I’m afraid that if I sleep two things will happen: 1) I’ll let my defenses down and the germs will win, taking over much more than just my throat and 2) I will wake up tomorrow with no clear agenda. My mind is reeling from this weekend. I put all my energy into it and had no vision for life after it. What will we eat for lunch and dinner this week? Where will I take my preschooler this week to get us out of the house? What business contacts will I make this week? What clean clothes will I wear tomorrow? Can Monday even happen without planning for it?!